When You Think your ready to go back to Full Time but Your Body has a different idea

I have been unable to work Full Time since July 2015.  I am still with the same company I was at when I had to leave. I have been feeling so good lately that I started thinking of going Full Time. However, my body had other ideas.  I woke up sore and unable to move. A sign to me that my illness was in full stream. So I sucked it up and I rested. I spent the entire day in bed and cancelled my bible study.  This is extremely difficult because I continue to struggle financially and between January 2018 and the extreme cold and my body rebelling it makes it even harder for me to not struggle.


I love my job and have done it for a long time but in 2010 I became ill with a disease called Sarcoidosis.  I went to the Emergency Room with abdominal pain and had a CT Scan.  The doctor came back and told me and my mother that I had cancer.  This started a long 8 year journey including two different attempts to get SSD.  The first time I applied I had to do this in order to qualify for Medical Assistance. I was turned down twice.  I did not reapply again I went out and contacted my present Supervisor and I was offered a job.  I have known her for years because I worked at her site when I worked for the Temp agency.


In March of 2015 I passed out at work and needed to go to the hospital Emergency Room. They told me that I had Kidney Stones and my heart was not working right that I was having a Silent Heart Attack. I was in the hospital for three days and that began the second nightmare with this disease.  I spent the next several months  going back and forth to the doctors and praying I didn't have to quit. My immune system was failing and the doctors didn't think I would be able to make it through another Winter working with so many people.


I quit my job on July 10,2015 and my last day was on July 24, 2015.  I kept in contact with my Supervisor and she offered me a job as a Casual Employee. I was thrilled to be back at my beloved Southwell.  I am only allowed to make $1180 a month in order to qualify for Social Security which makes things difficult for me.  I will not live with a complete stranger because you never know what kind of drama people in the hood may have.  I'm not trying to get shot because my roommate has drama.


I will continue to live under or at the amount needed and pray that my decision from my appeal is positive and I will be getting a monthly check. If I am denied then I will reapply and pray that it doesn't take another two years before I get a final decision.  With Congestive Heart Failure I doubt it will be hard. The Tough part is to not push myself to hard and remember to not go over the limit of what Social Security sets.