Just another day in the hood.

I was walking down the street going to catch my bus to go to work.  I have to walk three blocks to catch my bus and today it was warm and sunny about 71 degrees.  I love walking through my hood and talking to my neighbors. 


I live in on of the last few houses on my street.  The house on the corner of 13th and Bell the Row houses on this street used to be an eye sore but finally someone fixed them and made them decent places to live.  The House across the street from me was abandoned for several years. A housing redevelopment company fixed it up and turned it into a farm house.  This house recently sold for $80,000 which is high for houses in my community.  I walk to the next corner walk pass the bar which is open from 10 am until 2 am.  I pause at the field on Robinson and Bell and say a silent prayer for Jamal Holyfield who was shot to death at that spot on July 7, 2009 at the age of 17. There are a lot of places that have become make shift memorials of young and not so young people who have had their lives stolen in homicides.  Jamal was set up by some girl and shot several times. Several people were out that night yet no one saw anything or so they say.  His case remains unsolved.  His mother will never be the same and every year on the anniversary of his death she is consumed with anger at the girl who set him up.  All we know is her name is Meecka.

A fist fight breaks out on the second block close to the pizza shop.  Two women fighting over money for beer.  The kids are in school so at least only adults are around.  I see the same women sitting out on the porch every day they are always drinking and fighting loudly.  I often wonder if they lived on this street in July of 2009 when Jamal was there and if they saw what happened.  No matter what time I walk past their home these same two women are sitting out on their porch or fighting in the street.  I feel bad for them because they seem as though they have nothing to do that is productive.  I wonder if they have ever held jobs or do they received SSI.  I wonder why they don't find something positive to do with their time rather than sit outside and drink all day.  I feel sad because these women seem to have no life at all and all welfare even SSI keeps you broke and hungry.

I come to the Hoarder House where they have at least 20 or 30 broken lawn mowers and bikes locked on the iron fences.  I remember the husband used to sell these mowers but he died a few years ago and no one has yet to clean up the mess or sell them.  They could have taken those to Josh's steel and could have made some money now its just an eye sore. The trees are overgrown and are hanging on the Power lines.  I wonder when they are going to cut it before the power line breaks and people lose power.

Finally I reach the end of my journey the playground and park and my bus stop.  A shooting had taken place earlier this week a few blocks down on Verona.  The oldest son of my friend Desiree was shot inside his house.  He survived.  Today at the park was three girls and a boy smoking weed and talking about various subjects.  I love my neighborhood and my community.  I have lived in the same zip code my whole life.  Yes I am tired of the violence and watching people I love lose their children or have their child shot.  Every day I pray that we can say that Urban Violence is a thing of the past.  We are always going to have our problems but we can solve them working with each other like the old days. 

The Entire Hood has anger management issues

People who live in the hood have a lot of anger inside of them. I never noticed this until I started being around the Middle Class.   Why is the hood so angry? I find myself asking.

It’s not poverty because there are a lot of poor people who do not have that anger.   I believe it’s because of the violence because I lived in the hood all my life but never have I noticed all this anger before.

My friend Carol once told me that the entire hood had PTSD but I didn’t understand why? “The Trauma is still going on so it can’t be post” I said.

  A friend of hers then explained to me that although the Trauma continued that we were still dependent on the survival coping skills.  It sort of made sense since the violence has lasted so long.

I was born and raised in the Hood and the Hood from my childhood is definitely not the same neighborhood.  As a child, every adult in the neighborhood not only knew my mother but was a good friend to her. This included Braddock as well as North Braddock.  I would be in trouble if I were caught misbehaving and there was not this well Miss So and So was lying because it just led to more problems than the truth did.

 

Now days if you try to tell someone’s child that they are wrong then you got to fight that Child’s mother. 

“I defend my child. I fights for mines” is a common comment made by parents.  They are not teaching their child to accept responsibility for their bad behavior. 

We have to change our ways all of us have to let go of that anger.   This is the main cause of the High homicide rate in our communities because we have so much anger it boils over.

We are killing and dying in high number, because all over the internet we see fight videos and people are even posting videos of them shooting or murdering someone.  We have Parents fighting the teachers, people fighting each other at work, Parents killing their babies to get revenge on the other parent. 

It’s not even just boys killing or setting up others to be killed, girls are often killing or using sex to set someone up to be killed and generally these girls that set someone up are not prosecuted.

We have a lot of reasons to be angry but we must figure out a way to let go of that anger. I am full of anger just like everyone else but I have learned to get rid of my anger by writing. Punching the keys on a key board is a lot better than punching someone in the throat.   Drawing and painting is a good way to get rid of that anger before it turns into deadly rage. Rapping, Dancing, singing gospels and any other positive activity that will get out of that rage is a lot better than spending life in prison without the possibility of parole.

 

 

Just Another Day in The Hood

people attending a funeral

Today on my way to church, I was walking through the Hood.  

First I walk by three drunks stumbling out of the bar.  Talking real loud and singing.  Young people were sitting outside smoking weed with their music blasting. Couples were fighting about cheating and baby daddy's and baby Mama's. Because this happens every day, I do not pay attention. 

I could see the local funeral home and because of the number of youth I know it was someone young. I search my mind and remembered earlier this week a 26 year old Jitney driver was murdered. The tee shirts worn by the family and friends that bear the name of the deceased and the Sunrise and Sunset. I felt sad for the family,  his child who is only a toddler, and for our whole Community  This is something we can never pretend it's nothing just being hood.  This can never become normal but sadly it has. 

Fist fight 

The teenagers outside and even inside of the Church want to fight each other.  Women fist fighting over kids.  No one sees that one leads to another.  What starts as a fight ends up with the funeral of one and Life in Prison for the other. It's a lose lose situation for us as a people. 

It's Hard to Stop selling drugs and Fighting

I sold drugs from the age of 14 until the age of 48. I fought from the age of 5 until 52. I struggle with both till this day especially fighting. 

Today I had an issue at work and this back stabbing female Causal decided to spread rumors about me and lie on me.  

I was angry and wanted to quit my job and go fight this woman but I didn't.  

I am ghetto with a capital G and decided and thought of Revenge.  I knew I only had to make a few phone calls and we would have fought her bad. 

Three people stopped me from fighting and they were my Pastor,  my Best Friend,  and my teacher. 

While I was in my anger faze I was talking to my boss over the phone and she told me I need my job and not to allow anyone to cost me my income. 

"I don't need my job I have ways to make money. " that was literally the first time in five years that it entered my mind to sell drugs. 

I wasn't being mean or angry but I meant it.  I will NOT stay at a job just because. I would rather sell drugs then be unhappy.  Now the truth is I would find another job before I resorted to selling drugs but it bothered me that it came to my mind so quickly. 

I'm a Christian who is struggling to change my life but when I'm angry,  scared,  or hurt I think of either one or both.